01.31.10
Another Raju
One of the things that has continually been on my mind, since returning from India, is a little boy that I got to spend an afternoon with.
It was the day of the AIDS training. Teresa was teaching the adults, and there were a few children running around while their parent, or in this little boy’s case, his grandmother attended the training. All I knew about him to start was that both of his parents were dead, and he was clearly very sick, most probably with AIDS. He was literally skin and bones. I have never in my life seen someone so thin. I honestly don’t know how he could walk, he didn’t appear to have any muscle on his little body. He had the sweetest face, and the calmest spirit. He was quiet and didn’t seem the type to complain. I sat there on a small curb with him, wondering what his story was. As I sat next to him with my arm around him, wanting to give him some affection, and at the same time being afraid I would break him, another young girl came up to sit by us.
She seemed older, told me her name was Soapna. She was beautiful and healthy, and a complete contrast to this little boy sitting next to me. She was unlike any other child I met there. Instead of vying for my attention herself, she seemed to be interested in how I was interacting with the little boy. I would hold his hand, and then she would hold his hand too. She was carrying her mother’s purse, and in not too much time, she pulled a small banana out of it, and offered it to the boy.
At this point in the trip, I was so used to children who only spoke a small amount of English. The little boy next to me, didn’t even seem to speak enough to understand when I was asking him his name. I had gone through the basics with Soapna, but it took me by surprise how much English she actually knew, and spoke it very well. After a little while, she took it upon herself to start asking this little boy questions, and telling me all about him. His name, ironically was Raju. Both his parents, were as I had heard, dead, and he was there with his grandmother. He was in 4th class (grade).
I was in awe of this little girl’s compassion, and desire to mimic my interaction with Raju, and care for him too. We sat there on this curb, and Raju pointed to some freckles on my arm, so I explained that it was a freckle, then tried to find one on him, and luckily was successful. Soapna joined in, and it became a game to find all their freckles, point to them and say “freckle”.
It was the most amazing afternoon. Interacting with these two kids, who were in such stark contrast to each other in so many ways. I believe with all my heart that Soapna is the hope for India. She is growing into an amazing young woman, and God’s fingerprints are all over her. I do not doubt that he will be using her to show compassion to many in the area. I’m grateful that she has two parents, who were both willing to come attend an AIDS training. I’m grateful that she’s growing up with some of that knowledge herself, and has the chance to overcome some of the odds, and not only overcome them, but shower compassion on others who need it.
Here is a picture of us from that afternoon.
01.24.10
The First Visit
Well, pretty much nothing about this weekend went as planned, as the original plans didn’t include me puking. Nice, huh? Yes, I threw-up in front of him. It was like straight out of a movie, and if things work out between us, we will certainly never forget the first time we met.
He showed up on Thursday night with tulips, and some dutch pastries, as the town where he’s from is pretty proud of their dutch heritage, and he thought it would be nice to bring me a little taste of where he’s from. They are good, so I agree, and well, pretty much anytime a guy brings me flowers, it’s a good thing.
He wasn’t hungry when he got here, and so we sat around and chatted, left for a little bit to check him into the hotel where he was staying, and then came back to my place where we sat around and talked some more. Before we knew it, it was almost 1am, and my stomach was kind of bothering me. I told him, it was probably just cause I inadvertently didn’t end up eating anything all night long, and that my stomach had never seemed to entirely recover from India. I started munching on some crackers, and he left for the evening. I got in bed, still not feeling the best, but thinking, it wasn’t a huge deal, and I’d feel better in the morning. 45 minutes later, those crackers were coming back up. Awesome. I was up a couple more times in the night, but really thought it was just a temporary thing. By around 7am, I knew I wouldn’t be going to work (I work half days on Fridays, and he was just going to entertain himself til I was off), but I still somehow thought if I just rested that morning, I’d be feeling 100% again by that afternoon - I seemed confident that I was done with the puking. I sent him a text message, to fill him in on what was going on. He asked me if I needed anything, and then headed over to keep me company, and do whatever he could to take care of me.
I managed to make myself look somewhat presentable, or maybe better put at least appropriate. Figured we’d spend the morning watching a movie, and I could rest, and then by the afternoon or at least early evening, I’d be feeling normal again. When he got there he was concerned, and sweet and caring. He prayed for me. I hadn’t eaten anything, or drank anything but water, and he suggested I try a little sprite. I thought that sounded like a good plan. It wasn’t. He fixed me a glass, I took a sip, and literally a few seconds later, I said, “I don’t think that was a good idea,” immediately stood up and high tailed it to the bathroom. Although I closed the door behind me, I’m sure he was at least audibly aware of my puking. I heard him, get up and remove the sprite from the room, and get me a glass of water.
I pretty much spent the rest of the day laying on the couch and apologizing to him , which he said wasn’t necessary. I went to my room and slept for a little while too, leaving him to entertain himself. What can I say, I’m an awesome hostess. We watched the movie Up at one point, I managed to get down a few saltines around lunch, and at 4, I managed to convince him to go get himself something to eat. Around 7, I felt well enough to go with him to Wade and Leah’s, where he was going to stay for the night, and then on the way back to my place, we stopped at the store. I had decided to try some cranberry juice, and a noodle soup packet. So the first meal he ever bought me was cranberry juice, and noodle soup, pretty romantic, huh? At least I can say I kept it down.
I am happy to report that I was at least feeling well enough on Saturday to make some appearances in public. We went out to breakfast, went ice skating at crown center, for all of 30 minutes before I told him I was tired and wanted to go home. We went back to my place and napped for like 3 hours, and then had pizza, and went to church. He drove home late that night.
It was nothing like we planned, and I haven’t even mentioned the emotional breakdowns. Let’s just say, I had a couple. I don’t know if it was being sick, and having to fast forward to a place where we were that comfortable being around each other in those circumstances, or just me being weird. I was just a little overwhelmed by it all, and quite honestly still am. Everything is going well, it’s obvious he really, really likes me, and at the same time, I’m struggling with believing it’s all real. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and we talked about this. He even knew I was going to be writing about it here. I’m terrified of marrying someone and then finding out he’s not at all who he presented himself to be. I know this has to do with my past experiences and where I’ve been. We’ve been really open with each other about things, he’s not tried to hide his issues, cause lets face it, we all have them. I’ve also told him, as crazy as it sounds that I’d be more comfortable if his struggle was A instead of B, because A I’ve seen, A I understand, and A I’ve dealt with before. B is totally foreign to me, and therefore scary, and just adding fuel to my fearful fire.
We’ve talked about all of this, and his responses have been nothing less than stellar, honestly. We are planning for me to visit his world over valentine’s weekend, and I’m sure I’ll have another update for you then. In the meantime, I’m hoping to write some more about India. I still have some thoughts floating around, that I want to get down, about my experiences, about coming home, and about what I want to do about it now.
01.20.10
Someone New (and wonderful)
Travis: So I have a confession that is more about fact than implying anything
me: ok
Travis: One of the girls from my former neighborhood, that I grew up in, added me to FB the other day and sent me a message. It was funny because she was saying she couldn’t believe I wasn’t married and if I ever did want to propose that she would make me a great deal on a ring. . . . . she works at Tiffany’s in KC lol
me: haha, that’s funny. For some reason the way you said you had a confession, I was expecting it to be more serious in nature so then really, it was just all that much more funny
Travis: It was ironic because where you live and I have always joked that I would buy a Tiffany’s engagement ring because I find them very classic and vintage and timeless
me: nice … so do you need to know my ring size? ;)
Travis: and expensive
me: yeah, I’d imagine
Travis: I am going to guess 5.5, maybe 6
me: nope, way smaller
Travis: 4.5
me: smaller
Travis: 4
me: smaller
Travis: no way
me: yes way, I told you I had small hands. 3.5-3.75
Travis: do you have carnie hands, lol
me: carnie hands?
Travis: you have never heard of a carnie
me: like a carnival freak? thanks
Travis: yes … lol … I am kidding … I am sorry
me: I know, you’re fine. F-I-N-E, fine. no need to apologize
Travis: ;)
Then on Tuesday, this IM conversation happened:
me: I have a confession - don’t read too much into this … I figured if you shared the ring story yesterday than I can share this. I’m looking at wedding invitations … lol
Travis: haha
me: one of my favorite stores is paper-source, and I get their emails regularly, and today it was all about their new line of wedding invitations, and I LOVE them! Just one of those things where the design is just right up my ally! Just thought it was funny
Travis: so serendipitous
me: totally ;)
And then, when I got home that night, this was our text message conversation:
me: Haha. Just got home & guess what I got in the mail today. The Paper-Source catalog with the wedding invitations on the cover
Travis: Well go ahead and pick one out then cause someone is obviously telling us something
Me: Haha
Travis: So not yet then
Me: If the perfect dress drops in my lap, then we’ll know
Travis: Do dresses fall from heaven? And what does a perfect dress look like?
Me: I don’t know, I imagine I’ll know when I see it. So does that mean you are going to secretively sign me up to start receiving bridal catalogs to help serendipity along?
Travis: I would never sign you up now…..cause I already did….wait, what did I say! Lol
Me: You are a lot of fun!
Travis: I hope you like modern bride magazine… So are you
Me: I’m sure I would. So am I what?
Me: Nevermind. You were telling me I’m fun. Got it. Blonde moment
Travis: You are a lot of fun Lol
Me: I’m glad you are laughing with me on that…
Travis: Are you still looking at wedding invites
Me: Haha. Yes actually … I went through all my other mail, then opened the catalog (lots of other things in there too) and have been going through it page by page. Ironically I just got to the wedding invites page right before you sent that
Travis: Any favorites?
Me: Yes, very much so!
Travis: Just one or couple different ones
Me: One in particular, but a couple others too
Travis: Are you going to show me these amazing finds this weekend
Me: Sure! I can send you a link now if you want
Travis: Are you sure you want me to see them…..not too much pressure on me is it
Me: Are you feeling pressure?
Travis: not really
Me: I didn’t think so
Travis: Lol Do you feel pressured?
Me: No
Travis: Or overwhelmed?
Me: No
Me: It is a 2010 collection, so it will only be available for this year … Pressure yet?
Travis: How does your June look…..any open weekends…..we could get a bunch of friends and family together and have a party…..feel pressured?
Me: Nope. My lease is up in July so that works great! Pressured?
Travis: I told my parents what you just said ….mom is ready to start planning …..pressured?
Travis: Should I give her your phone number
Me: Absolutely!
Travis: Your pastor or mine (which could be one of 7)
Me: I was just going to call mine and see if him & the church are available
Me: Who knew planning a wedding was so easy!
Travis: For two old church workers it should be cake walk……
Me: Definitely! Is it bad that some of me is so amused by this interaction, that I kind of want to blog about it
Travis: That is funny …. I say blog away
Me: Isn’t that an awesome way to introduce you!
So meet Travis. He also has a blog, and an older blog which has some good stuff on it, even though he’s not using it any more. And really that interaction sums up a lot of things about how we interact, we have a lot of fun with each other. He’s easy to talk to, I don’t have to filter anything with him, oh and we actually haven’t met yet. Yes, he’s coming for the first time this weekend, and we can’t wait. He’s not too far, just a few hours drive. I’ll try to post a pic next week.
01.13.10
India Day 10: Heading Home
Tonight as you all are going about your evening plans, we’ll be waking up and preparing to head home. We’ll be leaving the kiddos and saying goodbye. Pray for us as we leave, and pray for the kids, as we’ve definitely formed attachments and it won’t be easy.
Pray also for our travel on the way home. We’ll have a little bit of time in Chennai before leaving India, and will arrive back in KC on the evening of Friday the 15th.
01.12.10
India Day 9: Leper Visit
We’ll be able to spend some time with the lepers. There is a community not far from one of the orphanages, and we’ll likely go and share with them, sing with them, and help with some food distribution.
Pray that we’ll be able to meet some of their physical needs, pray that God would be present. They are an amazing group of people, and have more joy than so many others that I know.