I can’t say that I ever thought I’d be single still at age 30, but I am, and I don’t regret it, not that I wouldn’t like to be married (I very much would), but I’ve had opportunities and experiences being single thus far in life, that I cherish, and wouldn’t trade.
Most of the people that I interact with in my life have no idea what it’s like to be single and 30, so I just thought I’d share a few things here. Things that are hard about it and things that are great about it.
First, let me just say, being single at 30 is entirely different than being single in your 20’s, even mid to late 20’s. So, as a side note, if you haven’t experienced single at 30 for yourself, just know that it’s not the same, and it’s not likely to be helpful to share your own dating/waiting experiences from when you were in college – or even into your 20’s. So since many of you probably don’t realize that, I thought I’d just tell you. Not that you can’t be encouraging in other ways, you can and regularly do.
How is it different? Well, in some ways it’s better, and in other ways it’s harder. It’s better because I’ve grown and matured and am much more capable of processing things and dealing with issues than I used to be, and for that I am very thankful. When I was younger I didn’t trust God as well, and I wasn’t as grounded, so when something didn’t go well, it shook me up more so than it does now. I’m so glad that God uses experiences to grow and teach us, otherwise we’d never make it. The emotional rollercoaster that a relationship or even desire for a relationship can be, has become much more tame, more like a kiddy coaster than say the patriot, or what is that one ride at Worlds of Fun that spins you around and makes you go backwards? I’m getting sick just thinking about it. So anyway, I’ll take the kiddy coaster any day!
It’s harder for a few reasons, the pool of available/datable guys is shrinking, but so is the pool of close friends who are still single. I don’t have one close friend that is as old as I am, and still single, most of my friends have moved on even from the newly married stage to the baby-making stage. Now they are still some of the most amazing friends a girl could want, but there is something to be said for knowing others that are in the same life stage as you. I’m doing some things to hopefully remedy this, and find myself some single girlfriends, but again, it’s harder. I am however greatly blessed by a small handful of women that God has brought into my life that although married now, did not marry until their 30’s. They know, understand, and can relate in a way that others can’t, and I’m grateful. One such friend prayed for me last night, and I can’t tell you how much I needed that.
Another reason it’s harder is because all of a sudden out of nowhere, you have the biological clock factor. This little voice that reminds you that the older you get the more risky pregnancy will be, and you start realizing that you really want to be married for a couple of years before having kids, and that you had better get on the ball at finding someone, so you can have a family before it’s just too late.
Those are the ways that being single is different at 30. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to try and schedule a few posts on singleness, mostly things that I enjoy about being single, but perhaps also some thoughts on topics related to the single life. I’m hoping to keep it light mostly, but I’m sure a few thought provoking things will slip in. Please feel free to comment on what you might relate to or agree with, and what you might not.