So I have a new and improved, and I believe now accurate definition of sovereignty just yesterday.

I’ve been struggling in my time with God lately, for lots of reasons I’m sure. I want to spend time with Him, and at the same time I’m struggling. I want to have an intimate relationship with Him, but I’m not wanting to do the super christian “daily quiet time”. You know where you read your assigned “read through the bible in a year”, and pray for 20 min. stuff.

So yesterday I just sat down, and told God that, and told Him all kinds of other things that have been on my heart about Him. Just talked to Him about things I don’t get or understand, and this is what He showed me.

My previous thoughts on sovereignty went something like – God orchestrates all of the people/situations in someones life to affect them in a way that causes God’s desired result. I know when I write it out like that, it seems off, but sometimes when you have a concept of something, it’s just there in the background, and you don’t really think about it practically. So anyway, in my mind, that also meant that God orchestrated the “bad” in life as well. After all I understand very well that God uses the bad to grow us, and better us.

So yesterday, I realized the flaws in that – it doesn’t allow for free choice, and that is a key part of who God is. He will never force anyone to love him – and that is an awesome thing! He also won’t force anyone to make a good choice. The reality is that other people’s choices affect people beyond themselves, and sometimes in a negative way. That doesn’t mean that God wanted the bad to happen, in fact, he didn’t want it, but if he forced that on someone, he would be taking away their free choice.

So my epiphany for the day is that the secret of God’s soveriegnty is that he can and does still use the bad choices that we or others around us make, even though it’s not what he wanted. I guess that is a real picture of love, to better us, even when we go against his wishes – pretty cool.

So yesterday was the first time that I really understood that God hurts and grieves with me through the bad because he didn’t want it for me either. And then later in the day I realized, that the time I had spent with God was exactly what He wanted from me, and that it was far more honoring and pleasing to Him than if I had gone through the motions of the typical “daily quiet time”